the very first scene of Netflix's House
Netflix 的《纸牌屋》的第一个场景就让
of Cards just blew me
我
away there's this crash in Kevin's
震惊了，凯文的
character he's this powerful politician
角色发生了一次崩溃，他是一位强大的政治家，
he just runs outside of his house to see
他跑出家门看看
what happened
发生了什么事
[Music]
[音乐]
sh there are two kinds of pain sort of
sh 有两种痛苦，一种
pain that makes you strong or useless
痛苦会让你 强烈或无用的
pain sort of pain that's only
痛苦，那种痛苦只是
suffering I have no patience for useless
折磨，我对无用的东西没有耐心，
things it gives me goosebumps every time
每次看它我都会起鸡皮疙瘩，他
I watch it his acting in the scene is
在这场戏里的表演令人
incredible and when I got the call that
难以置信，当我接到电话说
I was going to be on the show I thought
我要参加演出时，我以为
oh my
天哪，
God I was 23 years old
when I started house of cards I was
我开始创作《纸牌屋》的时候才 23 岁，当时
young I was naive and I got a great
我还很年轻，很天真，但我得到了一个绝佳的
opportunity I was like if I get to work
机会，我想如果我能
with Kevin spacy like that is that is
和 Kevin Spacy 一起工作，那就
awesome that is so cool fortunately I
太棒了，太酷了，幸运的是
was lucky enough to be part of uh
很幸运能成为
Underwood Secret Service so that was
安德伍德特勤局的一员，所以这是
Kevin spy's
凯文间谍的
detail he would crack a couple jokes and
细节，他会讲几个笑话，
I would laugh he was a very funny guy I
我会笑，他是一个非常有趣的人，我
told him I had a girlfriend he told me
告诉他我有一个女朋友，他告诉我，
that he uh he loved jazz music and I
他呃他喜欢爵士音乐， 我
just thought he was very friendly
只是觉得他很友好
outgoing I absolutely was still
外向的我绝对还是被
intimidated with uh the way that he
他的行为方式吓到了，
carried himself I mean the value of that
我的意思是，
one person can have and just to see that
一个人可以拥有的价值，只是看到那
person walking around he's worth
个人四处走动，他
millions every now and then they let us
时不时就值数百万，他们让我们
know that there's a speaking role for a
知道，有一个有发言权的角色
secret service agent I was honored to be
特工我很荣幸被
chosen my whole body is tingling I can
选中，我全身都在发麻，我能
feel that I'm
感觉到我在
sweating I'm thinking this is my time
出汗，我在想这是我的时间，
this is my
这是我的
moment they said action what if we don't
时刻，他们说行动，如果我们不
send ships just make a strong statement
派船来，那就发表一个强有力的声明
I came in I walked up to him we still
我走进来，走到他面前，我们仍然
have to offer the Chinese an incentive
需要向中国人提供激励，
to I whispered in his ear and he gave me
我在他耳边低声说，他给了我一个眼神，
this look like oh my God contingency
好像在说，哦，天哪，应急
plans in place already draft and then we
计划已经起草好了，然后我们
just walked off set
就一起离开了片场，
together we do this little U-turn and
我们这样做 稍微掉头，
then we're on the other side of the set
然后我们就到了片场的另一边，
and it's it's just me and him I leaned
只剩下我和他，我
in cuz he was saying something to me and
靠了过去，因为他在对我说些什么，
then I felt something like something
然后我感觉到有什么东西在
tickle me just right below my zipper
我的拉链下面挠我，
and I was like what I look down and I
我 就像我往下看，我
see it's his
看到的是他的
finger yeah know his his hand touched my
手指，是的，知道他的 他的手摸我的
penis wasn't like us playing around a
阴茎不像我们在更衣室里玩的一样，开
locker room a little joke or a little
个小玩笑或者轻轻
tap it was it was sexual I was touched I
拍打，那是性行为，我被触摸了，我
was inappropriately touched on set at
在工作现场被不恰当地触摸了，
work he just had these real dead eyes
他只是用一双死气沉沉的眼睛
looking at me and I just felt like I was
看着我，我 感觉就像我
staring into like a soulless uh monster
盯着一个没有灵魂的怪物
and I'm just kind of like in shock like
，我只是有点震惊，
wait what that's not cool you know you
等等，这不酷，你知道你
hear cut and then boom reset go right
听到了“切断”，然后砰的一声，重置，又
back to doing the scenes
回到了之前的场景，
again I remember feeling uh this
我记得当时的感觉 我有
overwhelming sense of guilt because I
一种强烈的负罪感，因为我
just felt like I that was my fault and I
觉得那是我的错，我
just I felt so like disgusted with
对自己感到厌恶，
myself that was the greatest day you
那是
know on set for me and it very quickly
我在片场最美好的一天，但当
turned sour when I realized like if I
我意识到如果我
potentially have to keep working with
可能必须 继续和
this guy and I get more
这个家伙合作，我得到更多的
lines it is this something that I'm
台词，这是我
going to experience on a regular basis
将定期体验的事情，
and what power do I
我有什么力量
have the Oscar winning actor Kevin spy
奥斯卡获奖演员凯文间谍
has appeared in court in London accused
在伦敦出庭，被指控
of sexual offenses against po men
性侵犯
between 20 1 in
2013 the prosecutor claimed the
2013年，检察官声称
Hollywood actor was a sexual
好莱坞演员
bully Kevin spacy has told a court in
凯文·斯派西在伦敦法庭上表示，
London that he is a big flirt but he
他是个大调情者，但他
denied behaving
否认自己有
aggressively the actor broke down in
攻击性行为。这位演员
tears as he was cleared of all nine
在被宣告无罪后泪流满面。
charges I would like to say that I'm
我想说，我
enormous grateful to the jury for having
非常强大 感谢陪审团
taken the time to examine all of the
花时间审查所有
evidence and I am
证据，我
humbled by the outcome
对
today the star Leaves Court an innocent
今天的结果感到谦卑，这位明星以无辜的身份离开法庭，
man he will hope he can resume a career
他希望他能继续他的职业生涯，
that reached the highest
达到最高
levels I was dancing with the devil I
水平，我当时正在与魔鬼共舞，我
wouldn't see it as anything criminal I
不会认为这是犯罪行为，我
just did think it was just kind of like
只是觉得这有点像
disgusting Behavior
from a professional to have on
专业人士在
[音乐]片场表现出的令人厌恶的行为，
set it was cold in a way that almost was
这种行为冷酷无情，几乎是
inhuman men aren't supposed to let this
不人道的，男人不应该让 这
get under their
让他们很
skin so I went to chats high school with
生气，所以我和 Kevin 一起去了聊天高中，
Kevin I would have been 16 17 at the
当时我 16 17 岁，我
time was all about I can do this I can
所做的就是我能做到，我能
do this to you I'm Kevin spacy
对你做到，我是 Kevin spacy，
I'm lost I have no idea where I am I
我是 迷路了，我不知道我在哪儿，我
really
真的
don't yeah this place has changed a
不知道，是的，这个地方已经改变了
lot and then there it is sunny Bray
很多，然后是阳光明媚的布雷
Avenue this is the uh the house in Koga
大道，这是呃，古河公园的房子，
Park where my brother Kevin and I
我和哥哥凯文
lived yeah there's there's the old
住在那里，是的，那是旧
bedroom
卧室的
window this is baby Kevin and myself
窗户，这是小凯文和我
dressed up in a sailor's
穿着
outfit from that young age we had a real
小时候的水手服 在我们那个年代，我们
Bond as brothers
就像兄弟一样，
you know we used to play outside and and
我们经常在外面玩耍，和
just run around with the
neighbors we used to play in the in the
邻居们一起跑来跑去，在田野里玩耍
fields and and hide in the grass and
，躲在草地里
play Kick the
玩踢
Can those are some really fond
罐子，这些都是我非常美好的
memories my father he blamed the world
回忆 父亲把
for all of his
他所有的
problems and he was full of so much
问题都归咎于世界，他心中充满
hatred
仇恨
and he said that the Holocaust never
，他说大屠杀从来没有
happened he used to have these Nazi
发生过，他曾经
meetings at the
在家里举行过纳粹会议，
house in My Father's office he used to
在我父亲的办公室里，他曾经
have a big Nazi flag hanging up on the
挂过一面巨大的纳粹旗帜 墙上挂着
wall my father had a writing
我父亲的书写
crop and he used to beat the [\h__\h] out of
板，他经常打
me looking at it from my brother's
我，从我哥哥的
perspective all he saw was Randy got
角度来看，他看到的只是兰迪
into trouble a lot and he would just
经常惹麻烦，然后他就
split I never saw my father ever lay a
分手了，我从来没见过我父亲
hand on my on my brother ever but Kevin
动手 在我的兄弟身上，但凯文
didn't have a normal
没有一个正常的
childhood he just found way to survive
童年，他只是发现 在
in an
environment that was not a loving
没有爱的
family and I think acting was a way for
家庭环境中生存的方法，我认为表演是
him to escape where he came
他逃离
from I was very very shy as a kid and
出身的一种方式。我小时候非常害羞，
through acting I think I found a way to
通过表演，我认为我找到了一种
compensate for that with the kind of
弥补这一点的方法。 有点
overly aggressive eagerness to be jovial
过于积极地渴望快乐
and to be the center of
和成为
attention you make a decision that you
关注的中心你决定你
don't need to graduate from juliia
不需要从朱莉娅毕业，
you'll just take your life into your own
你会在两年后把你的人生掌握在自己
hands right after two years yeah yeah
手中，是的，
although I I I do believe that if I
尽管 我，我确实相信，如果我
hadn't left they probably would have
没有离开，他们可能会在
asked me to leave about 4 days later I
4 天后要求我离开，我
had no prospects I had no agent I had no
没有前途，没有经纪人，也没有
money but I thought I was ready to
钱，但我认为我已经准备好
start this is a teenage Idol cattle call
开始了，这是青少年偶像的招募，
why do you want to be a teenage Idol I
为什么 你想成为青少年偶像吗？我
want to act very badly and that's just a
想要非常努力地表演，这只是
it's part of it you know it's like I do
其中的一部分，你知道，就像我
an impression of Johnny Carson it's not
模仿约翰尼·卡森，这不是
really what I
（音乐）真正
do this was
做的事情，那是
1981 I was working at the public theater
1981 年，我在 公共剧院
it was a wonderful time in my life being
是我一生中最美好的时光
in New York Post College I was
纽约邮报学院 我
comfortable out of the closet for the
第一次坦然面对自己的性取向，
first time I had a boyfriend and I just
我有了一个男朋友，我
sort of felt like New York was in front
感觉纽约就在我面前。
of
me Kevin was around the theater a
凯文经常去剧院，
lot he was doing free Shakespeare in
他在中央剧院免费表演莎士比亚戏剧。
Central Park so there was a production
帕克，所以当时有一场演出
that was in
正在
rehearsal I was a spirit carrier in my
排练，我毕业后在纽约担任莎士比亚专业演员，我扮演一个精神载体，
very first Shakespeare job as
professional in New York out of juliard
and I played a Tavern person I played a
我扮演一个酒馆的人，我扮演一个
guard uh a spear carer and and I think a
守卫，呃，一个长矛护理员，我想是一块
rock and which was your finest I think
石头和 我认为最棒的
the rock
was he was this presence you know very
是他的存在，你知道，非常
vague vague presence but uh he came into
模糊的存在，但是呃，他来到
the office to use the guest desk and
办公室使用客人桌，
that's how I encountered
这就是我遇到
him I was on the phone and Kevin spacy
他的方式，我在打电话，凯文·斯派西
walked in he didn't acknowledge me
走了进来，他没有 没有理会我，也
didn't look at me and uh I finished my
没有看我，呃，我打完
call and hung up and looked over at him
电话挂了电话，看了看他
and he still wasn't acknowledging me and
，他仍然没有理会我，
I thought I I should say hello should
我想我应该打个招呼，
shouldn't he say hello am I interrupting
他不应该打招呼吗，我打扰了吗？
or whatever so I stood
或者其他什么 所以我站了
up and then he stood
起来，然后他 站
up uh and uh began to approach and and
起来，然后开始靠近，
the there was nothing really odd about
that except for the abject silence when
除了他站着和走路时沉默不语之外，没有什么奇怪的，
he was standing and walking he was
他
wearing a pair of pretty tight jeans
穿着一条非常紧的牛仔裤，
had a a fullscale
erection and he kept approaching and
阴茎完全勃起，他不断靠近，
came in front of me and pulled me up
来到我面前 把我拉到
onto the desk so I lost my balance went
桌子上，我失去了平衡，又
back on the desk he was on top of me and
回到了桌子上，
he's pressing against me it was just
他压在我身上，这完全是
completely out of the blue and
出乎意料的，
completely wordless
完全没有言语，很
angry there was no eye contact there W
生气，没有眼神交流
there was nothing but Force physical
只是武力，身体上的
Force and I'm pushing him off saying get
武力，我推开他说放开
off me this is my office and he he
我，这是我的办公室，他
persisted before I was able to push him
坚持要推开我，直到我推开他，
enough that he rolled off he stood back
他才滚了下来，他站
up he grabbed his coat and he stormed
起来，抓起外套，冲了
out of the office slamming the door
出去 办公室砰地关上了门，
behind
him uh I sat in my office for I don't
我在办公室里坐了不
know how long and I was
知道多久，我一直在
shaking it was cold in a way that almost
发抖，感觉冷得几乎
was
inhuman and I was really
不像人，我真的很
scared I never told my boyfriend of the
害怕，我从来没有告诉我男朋友这
time I never felt I could tell or should
件事，我从来没有 我觉得我可以告诉或应该
tell
告诉
anybody it was something I needed to
任何人这是我需要
bury I had to watch his career Blossom
埋葬的东西我必须关注他的职业生涯 Blossom
and now he's gaining even more power if
，现在他的力量越来越大，如果
he could do that to me back when he had
他能在我没力量的时候那样对我，
no power what's he going to do with that
他会怎么做，
now what what's you going to do with
现在你又会怎么做呢？
that
anger I sort of thought well most of the
愤怒，我想大多数
actors I admired really made their marks
演员 我很钦佩他们
in theater and then Hollywood came
在剧院中取得的成就，然后好莱坞也开始
knocking so I thought well let me just
关注他们，所以我想，好吧，让我
try to do
试试看，
that Kevin spacy kind of erupted in the
凯文·斯派西在
9s into being this huge star super super
90 年代一炮走红，成为超级巨星，
fast how many films released in 1995 uh
1995 年发行了多少部电影，呃，
four outbreak outbreak uh was the first
四次爆发 呃是第一部《
swiming with sharks Usual Suspects usual
与鲨共游》《惯犯》
supect and a little film we did called
和一部我们拍的小电影《
seven I mean does it get any better than
七》，我的意思是它有没有比
95 I'm an entertainment journalist part
95 更好，我是一名娱乐记者，
of what I do now is more investigative
我现在做的部分工作更多的是调查性质
的，
nature so you know in the 90s there were
所以你知道 90 年代，
a few examples of Kevin spy bringing a
凯文·斯皮奇 (Kevin Spy) 曾带
woman with him to certain events
女人参加某些活动，但当时还
there was no such thing as an out gay
没有像凯文·斯皮奇 (Kevin Spacy) 这样出柜的同性恋
actor at the level of Kevin spacy
演员，
closest you could get was Rupert Everett
最接近的是鲁伯特·埃弗雷特 (Rupert Everett)，
who looked stunningly handsome and by
他看起来非常英俊，
All rights should have had a very robust
而且 应该有一个非常辉煌的
career but he didn't Andre Jenner came
职业生涯，但他没有。安德烈·詹纳
out in ' 97 you know in real life and on
在 1997 年出柜，你知道在现实生活中和
her sitcom for several years her career
她的情景喜剧中，她的职业生涯
kind of bottomed out she could not get
跌入谷底，她找不到
much work and again that was seen as an
多少工作，这再次被视为 举个
example of why maybe coming out at that
例子，为什么出柜到那个
level was not a good career
程度可能不是一个好的职业
move besides it was fun I got to make
发展方向，除此之外，我还可以
like I was Notorious The Usual Suspects
像出演《臭名昭著》一样，《非常嫌疑犯》
really launched Kevin spacy as an actor
真的让凯文·斯派西成为一名演员，
in a way that is hard to describe for
对于
somebody who wasn't necessarily alive at
一个没有出柜的人来说，这种方式很难描述。
the time there was this whole campaign
当时凯文·
about who is Kaiser so this Mythic
gangster burns down the houses they live
in and because the entire movie hinges
on your ability to to buy into Kevin
spacy's performance at every moment that
斯派西 (Kevin Spacy) 的表演非常精彩，他扮演的凯文·斯派西 (Kevin Spacy) 是一位传奇的黑帮老大，他烧毁了自己居住的房子，整部电影都取决于你是否能够接受凯文·斯派西 (Kevin Spacy) 在每个关键时刻的表演，这才是
really launched Kevin spacy as this
凯文·斯派西 (Kevin Spacy) 真正成功的秘诀。 这位
actor who an audience couldn't ever
演员是观众永远无法
quite trust but always wanted to
完全信任但总是
watch so when Kevin spy won his first
想看的，所以当凯文·斯派凭借《非常嫌疑犯》获得他的第一个奥斯卡奖时，
Oscar for The Usual Suspects and the
Oscar is presented to Kevin spy in the
奥斯卡奖颁给了《非常嫌疑犯》中的凯文·斯派，
usual
suspect well well whoever Kaiser sza is
不管凯撒·斯派是谁
I can tell you he's going to get
我可以告诉你 他今晚会喝得
gloriously drunk
酩酊大醉，
tonight it really was an announcement
这
for Kevin spy as really having reached a
对凯文·斯皮来说真的是一个公告，因为他在1998年真正达到了
sort of new Pinnacle in the
industry in
行业的新巅峰
1998 Kevin's cool kind of punk
凯文很酷的朋克
rock I'd come from a job working for
摇滚我来自
George Lucas in post production and the
乔治·卢卡斯的后期制作工作，
last film I worked on was Saving Private
我参与的最后一部电影是《拯救大兵
Ryan a friend of mine was in town he was
瑞恩》，当时我的一个朋友在城里，他是
a singer of a pretty pretty big band and
一个相当不错的乐队的歌手，
we ended up going to The Viper Room that
那天晚上我们去了 The Viper Room，
night Kevin spy's there he wants to meet
Kevin 也在那里，他想见见
the band so of I was over the moon to to
乐队，所以我 见到
meet him you know to me he was just on
他我欣喜若狂，你知道，对我来说，他是
such a pedestal I'm not going to lie I
如此受人崇拜，我不会撒谎，我
was I was Star Struck like we just boom
当时很着迷，就像我们一拍即合，
like hit it off like Off to the
就像去参加
Races I was telling him about I went to
比赛一样，我告诉他 我
film school after I got out of the
从海军陆战队退役后就读于电影学校，
Marine
Corp and um you know I was kind of
嗯，你知道，我当时有点想
throwing my hat in the ring as an actor
you know he wanted to get my head shot
成为一名演员，你知道，他想拍我的头像
and resume and uh that we should
和简历，嗯，我们应该有
potentially work
合作的可能性
together it felt amazing to have
能有
somebody in the industry talk to me like
业内人士这样跟我说话，感觉太棒了
that somebody that's going to take you
有人会把你
under their
置于他们的
wing I was like I can't even believe
羽翼之下，我简直不敢相信
this like I'm a
这是真的，我什么
nobody so we leave The Viper Room and
都不是，所以我们离开了毒蛇屋，
you know we just transfer the whole
你知道，我们把整个
party to this big fancy house in the
派对转移到好莱坞山的那栋豪华大房子里。
Hollywood Hills Kevin came up to me at
凯文 有一次他走过来对我
one point and he said hey there's a
说，嘿，
great home theater in this house and you
这房子里有一个很棒的家庭影院，你
should check it out so I go with him
应该去看看，所以我就和他一起
upstairs
上楼，
and that's when things I started to feel
就在那时，我开始感觉到
the energy shift a little
能量发生了一些变化
bit and uh and he was like can I have a
，呃，他 比如，我能
hug I was like huh okay I guess that's
拥抱一下吗？我说，嗯，好吧，我想这是
an LA thing I did not know at that point
洛杉矶的事情，我当时不知道
that he was gay so I kind of go into you
他是同性恋，所以我
know give him a quick bro hug and uh and
就给他一个兄弟般的拥抱，然后
he just you know gets me in this bare
他就得到了
grip and he's kind of you know rubbing
他紧紧地抓住我，你知道，
his his whiskery face in my neck and um
他用他那长着胡须的脸摩擦着我的脖子，嗯，
you know kind of kind of grinding into
你知道，有点像在磨蹭
me like like humping me just like hey
我，就像在蹭我，就像嘿，
whoo man like you met my girlfriend like
伙计，就像你遇到了我的女朋友，
you know you know she's downstairs like
你知道，她 楼下
that's not cool and he's like no no no
这样很不酷，而且他 就像不不不，没关系
it's it's okay it's fine you're okay
没关系你没事
you're good don't freak out I was like
你很好不要惊慌我就像
dude you you know I was a marine
兄弟你知道我是一名海军
right and he goes yeah that's half the
陆战队员，对吧，他说是的，那是
attraction I remember going down those
吸引力的一半我记得走下那些
stairs and like being kind of shaky you
楼梯，就像 我站着有点颤抖，你
know on my feet my heart was racing full
知道，我的心脏因为
on adrenaline dump
肾上腺素的分泌而狂跳不已。这些
I've thought about what he meant by
saying it's okay a lot over the years
年来，我一直在想他说没关系是什么意思，
because that is it is a strange sort of
因为
thing to say in a moment like that is he
在这样的时刻说这句话很奇怪 那是他在
talking to me is he talking to
跟我说话吗他在
himself did this happen to him at some
自言自语吗他一生中是否曾发生过这种事
point in his life and he sort of like
他有点像那
that's what the person said to him shush
个人对他说让
him and soothe him over by by using
他安静下来并安慰他用
those words
那些
we have gotten so into a kind of
我们已经如此投入的话语
confessional in the last 10 years of
在过去的十年里，
everybody sort of coming out and talking
每个人都出来谈论
about their lives I think it's um for me
他们的生活，我认为这对我来说
it's it's not something I'm interested
不是我感兴趣的事情，
in doing and not a line that I will ever
也不是我永远不会
cross I haven't done a lot of publicity
跨越的界限，我还没有做过
I've kept it very close to my chest and
我一直密切关注着它 我的胸部，
that's
important I was just kind of nursing a
很重要，我当时正在
hangover and the phone rings like hello
宿醉，电话铃响了，你好，
scotter
斯科特，
scotter and I recognized the voice Kevin
斯科特，我认出了凯文的声音，
he's like we should get together and
他说我们应该聚在一起，
I'll get your head shot and resume you
我会给你拍张头像，然后继续，你
know this this wasn't just some guy this
知道这不是 只是某个人，这
was Kevin freaking spy and and you do it
是凯文，该死的间谍，你开心地做这件事，
happily uh with joy in your heart thank
心里很高兴，感谢
you God like he really does care about
上帝，就像他真的关心
my
我的
career and there he was standing in the
事业一样，他就站在
corner right on that corner there's a
角落里，就在那个角落，有一个
movie theater and um Saving Private Ryan
电影院，嗯，保存 碰巧《大兵瑞恩》
happened to be playing so he's like hey
正在播放，所以他说，嘿，
you're movie we should go see it so I
你的电影，我们应该去看，所以我
had this intuition that this thing could
有这种直觉，这件事可能会
go sideways in a myriad of
以无数种方式偏离轨道，
ways but I also still was very much
但我仍然非常
under the impression that I was in
相信我能
control Kevin grabbed a seat like way up
控制局面 凯文找了一个很高的座位，非常
high very hidden very private and uh I'm
隐蔽，非常私密，我正在
watching the movie the first 20 minutes
看这部电影，诺曼底登陆的前 20 分钟，
of um the invasion of Normandy like it's
shockingly you know horrific
令人震惊，你知道的，很恐怖，
there's a guy picking up his arm and
一个人举起他的手臂，
people are on fire and people are just
人们着火了，人们 是 只是
dying in the really the most horrible
以最可怕的
ways you can
方式死去，你可能会
die all of a sudden I there's some
突然死去，我
activity happening next to me and kind
旁边发生了一些事情，然后
of glance over and Kevin's just
瞥了一眼，凯文只是在
pleasuring himself
自娱自乐，
you know some of the most horrific war
你知道一些有史以来最恐怖的战争
footage ever recreated like there's no
镜头被重现，好像不可能
way that this is happening that this guy
事情是这样的，这个家伙
is rubbing one out during the invasion
在诺曼底登陆期间正在做爱，
Normandy and finally he reaches over and
最后他伸出手
grabs my hand and tries to get me to to
抓住我的手，试图让我
help out I was like no this is crazy
帮忙，我当时就想，这太疯狂了，
every single guy you tell this story to
你告诉过他的每个人都会告诉你这个故事
tells you a whole story right of what
they would have done oh I would have
他们会怎么做，我会
punched him in the face and I would have
打他的脸，我会
kicked him and I and I'm like no
踢他，我会说不，
actually no no you wouldn't have guys
实际上不，不，你不会有
like myself like you just really don't
像我这样的人，你真的不会 t
find yourself in those situations so
发现自己处于这些情况所以
it's so shocking and I can only speak
这太令人震惊了，我只能代表
for myself but your first reaction is
我自己说话，但你的第一反应不是
not
violence it's you feel like
暴力，而是你觉得
you did something wrong you brought it
你做错了什么你把它带到了你
on to yourself
自己身上
and you feel
，你感到
[音乐][
音乐]
shame there's my mother and father and
羞耻这是我的 妈妈、爸爸和
Kevin and Kevin's got a face that's like
凯文，凯文的脸是 就像
the house was creepy it was cold it was
房子很恐怖，很冷，很
violent so I I think for both me and
暴力，所以我认为对于我和
Kevin anytime we could get out of the
凯文来说，只要我们能离开
house we were out of
房子，我们就会离开
there I think that my outfits that I
那里的音乐，我认为我
wear and that I have been
穿的衣服和我一直
wearing for the last 50 years are like
穿的衣服 过去的 50 年就像
costumes it makes me feel comfortable
服装一样，它让我感到舒适
and
并
accepted another way to
接受了另一种方式来
mask my internal pain and suffering that
掩盖我内心的痛苦和
I was going through
psychologically that if I look different
心理上的折磨，如果我看起来不一样
and I dress
，穿得不
different maybe people would never be
一样，也许人们永远都
able to find out about my dark secret
无法发现我的黑暗 秘密
and maybe they would treat me better and
，也许他们会对我更好，
it takes me farther and farther away
这让我离
from where I came
我来自的地方越来越远，这
from and that that makes me
让我很
happy I remember my favorite class at
高兴，我记得我在茱莉亚学院最喜欢的课
juliard was mask class and when you put
是面具课，当你
a mask on your face and stand in front
戴上面具站在前面时
of a mirror you suddenly don't see
在镜子前，你突然看不到
yourself you see something else and
自己，你看到了别的东西，
suddenly you become
突然间你就
free it was so revealing to hear him
自由了，听到他
hint that his acting in some ways served
暗示他的表演在某种程度上
the same purpose as my
和我的
costumes I start getting phone calls
服装有同样的目的，这真是太有启发了，我开始接到
from
Kevin you know they were never like hey
凯文的电话 你知道他们从来不会说嘿来
come in for a casting or anything like
参加试镜或者类似的事情，
that it was always sort of like hey pack
他们总是说嘿收拾
your stuff we're going to Maui I have a
你的东西 我们要去毛伊岛，我
room booked for us I'm at X right now
为我们预订了一个房间，我现在在X，
I'm waiting for you I'm at the Beverly
我在等你，我在贝弗利
Hills Hotel sitting in front of a fire
山庄酒店，坐在火炉前，
petting my black lab didn't return any
抚摸着我的黑色拉布拉多犬，没有回应任何
those and then finally he got me he
然后最后他打电话给我，
calls and he's like hey Bruce Willis is
他说嘿布鲁斯·威利斯
having a party tonight there's people
今晚要开派对，
there I want to introduce you to and I'm
我想向你介绍那里的人，我
like oh freaking Die
就像哦该死的
Hard oh my god oh I want to meet
虎胆龙威哦天哪哦我想见见
Bruce so
布鲁斯所以
so I go to the hotel I go up in the
我 去酒店，我乘电梯上楼，
elevator the TV's on and at one point he
电视开着，有一次他
turns the volume off and it's like two
关掉了音量，就像两个
characters talking the scene and he
角色在谈论一个场景，他
starts doing the voices of the
开始模仿角色的声音
characters and accents and it's the
和口音，这是最
funniest thing like I'm rolling like
有趣的事情，就像我 滚动起来很
it's hilarious of course time is passing
有趣，当然时间在流逝
and I'm like when are we going to the
，我想我们什么时候去参加
party and this is when he started sort
派对，这时他开始
of letting me know you know in no on
让我知道，你知道，
certain terms that there's a glass
ceiling in Hollywood he's moving around
在好莱坞有一个玻璃天花板，他正在四处走动
in the back and rubbing my shoulders and
揉我的肩膀和背部
you know
你知道，
and if you don't pay the toll you know
如果你不付钱，你知道
you're sexual
你是性贿赂，
favors you know you'll you'll have a
你知道
you'll have a decent career but you're
你会有一个体面的职业，但
not going to have your name in lights
你的名字不会出现在灯光下
kind of thing it really affected me on a
它确实对我产生了
on a level that I never could have SE
一种我从来没想过的背叛
coming the Betrayal aspect of thinking
感，
that somebody thought you had something
当有人认为你对
to offer the industry and that
这个行业有所贡献，认为
you were a person of value there is a
你是一个有价值的人时，你会感到
humiliation that that goes along with
羞辱。
with being sort of treated like that
有点像
objectified like that you're being
被物化一样对待，就像你被
looked at as as an
看作一个
object um that you have nothing else to
物体，你没有其他东西可以
offer the world
提供给这个世界，
and I hope that people can can look at
我希望人们可以看到
this and say well you
这一点，然后说，你
know that guy if he can tell his story
知道那个人，如果他能告诉他的 故事
and you know he kind of seems like maybe
，你知道他看起来可能
he's he's this tough guy that that can
是一个坚强的人，可以
handle a lot but if if he can show this
处理很多事情，但如果他能表现出这种
level of
程度的
vulnerability you know maybe I can too
脆弱，你知道也许我也可以，
uh that would be a good first place to
呃，这将是开始治愈的一个很好的起点
start healing
[\h__\h] [\h__\h] God damn
操他妈的该死的
it
[\h__\h]
sorry that's what I wanted to avoid
对不起这就是我想要避免的
I don't want I don't want this to be a
我不想我不想这
[\h__\h] victim thing you
他妈的成为受害者 你
know I
知道我
uh no it's important to me strength is
呃不，这对我来说很重要力量
is important to
对我来说很重要
me it has been my whole
这是我
life men aren't supposed to
一生中最重要的事情男人不应该
let this get under their
让这件事
skin at age 40 he's anything but your
在40岁时困扰他们他不是一个
typical movie star it's also quite
典型的电影明星这也是相当
anonymous because people don't look at
匿名的因为人们 不要看
the person on the scooter they look at
摩托车上的人，他们看
the scooter you don't want anybody to
摩托车，你不想让任何人
see behind the the mask of Kevin spy
看到凯文间谍面具后面的东西，
I've always believed that the longer an
我一直认为
actor remains in the
演员在阴影中呆的时间越长，
shadows then the characters emerge I
角色就越明显
think there was at least a contingent of
至少有一部分
people
in the industry who had a tacid
业内人士
understanding that Kevin spacy was
认为 Kevin Spacy
actually gay or at the very least
实际上是同性恋，或者至少是
bisexual Kevin spacy was asked a couple
双性恋。Kevin Spacy 曾被问过
times about it where he basically said
几次这个问题，他基本上说
it's just something I will never discuss
这是我永远不会讨论的事情。
I see nothing wrong with
性取向没有错，
sexuality the way in which people's
人们
sexuality is talked about this country
谈论性取向的方式对这个国家
is that it's an accusation it's a
来说是一种指责，这是一个
problem I have no interest in in
问题，我根本没有兴趣
confirming or
确认或
denying that at all just of no interest
否认这一点，只是没有兴趣，
to and then there was an profile in
然后《时尚先生》杂志上有一篇人物简介
Esquire Magazine with the headline Kevin
标题 Kevin
spacy has a
secret at the time that was seen as
当时 spacy 有一个秘密，这被视为是
outing
公开
him his team was Furious about that
他的秘密，他的团队对此感到愤怒，
peace and sort of considered it invasion
并认为这是侵犯
privacy I think when you get into the
隐私，我认为，当你进入
word of entertainment and entertainers
娱乐界和那些隐姓埋名的艺人时，
who are closeted the idea of outing them
公开他们的想法
as some sort of public good just doesn't
就像一些
really stand up to me I think where
我认为，
things get tricky is when an lgbtq
当 LGBTQ
person is behaving in such a way that
人士的行为
causes harm or hardship to other people
对其他人造成伤害或困难时，事情就会变得棘手。
so I was in all the school plays and
所以我参加了学校的所有戏剧表演，
musicals and Drama Camp I was the drama
音乐剧和戏剧营我肯定是戏剧
nerd for sure and then wanted to come
迷，然后
out to Los Angeles but it was too far
想去洛杉矶，但
for my mom so I ended up in New York
对我妈妈来说太远了，所以我最终在纽约参加了
this internship on the Big
Big
Kahuna it was the only time I worked in
Kahuna 的实习，这是我唯一一次在
a production where I was not paid uh and
制作过程中我没有得到报酬，呃，能
it was almost like it was like an honor
to work on a Kevin spy movie so
参与凯文间谍电影的制作几乎是一种荣誉，所以
everybody was bowing to him I mean he
每个人都向他鞠躬致敬，我的意思是他
was running the
show the first time he approached me he
第一次接近我时就主持了节目，他
kidnapped me he said I'm kidnapping you
绑架了我，他说我 我把你绑架
up to my dressing room to run lines with
到我的化妆间和你一起排练
me getting to run lines with him felt
和他一起跑线让我
like this dream come
感觉梦想成
true by the second week he would kidnap
真了，第二周他就会绑架
me offet to run lines and he would just
我去跑线，他只会
have the TV on and wouldn't be
打开电视，
interested in running any lines and he
对跑线不感兴趣，
would complain about a sore shoulder and
还会抱怨疼痛 肩膀，
want me to rub his shoulder and then
想让我揉他的肩膀，然后
he'd be lying on his couch and he'd try
他躺在沙发上，试图
to put my hand on his crotch he was
把我的手放在他的裤裆上，他
clearly trying to get me to like do
显然是想让我做一些
sexual things you know touch me and I
性方面的事情，你知道触摸我，
would you know carefully move him away
我会 知道小心地把他移开
and I would always insert like I had a
，我总是插入，就像我当时有一个
long-term girlfriend at the time but and
长期的女朋友，但
it felt like a sexual Conquest that
感觉就像一个性征服，
because I was straight it was more of a
因为我是直男，这更像是一个
challenge and that you know it's the
挑战，你知道这是
Chase and that went on pretty much till
追逐，就这样 直到
the end of the shoot I remember hearing
拍摄结束，我记得我听到的
well yeah everybody knows if you don't
是，每个人都知道，如果你
want to go home with Kevin don't be the
不想和凯文一起回家，就不要
last guy in a bar with them and I guess
和他们在酒吧里最后一个人，我想
you know I could have walked away at
你知道我本可以走开的
that point and I felt like you know I
那时我觉得你知道我
wanted to be in his good favor and if
想得到他的好感，如果
all that meant was rubbing his shoulders
那只是揉揉他的肩膀，
I would I would do
我会在
that our last day of filming we were in
我们最后一天这样做 拍摄期间我们在
the bar drinking and I get up to pee and
酒吧喝酒，我起身去上厕所，
he goes do you want to smoke some weed I
他问我要抽大麻吗，我
was like all right and so he falls me
说没关系，然后他把我扔进
into the
bathroom he's in between me and the door
浴室，他站在我和门之间，
and he just whips out his dick and
然后他抽出他的 鸡巴，
shoves his tongue in my mouth and he
把舌头伸进我的嘴里，他
wanted to finish and
想射精，
um how am I going to get out of
嗯，我该怎么摆脱
this that moment somebody started
这一切，那一刻，有人开始
banging on the bathroom door he got very
敲浴室的门，他非常
nervous zipped up his pants bolted out
紧张，拉上裤子，冲出
of the bar
酒吧，
I remember my mom saying that I should
我记得我妈妈 说我应该
call the national Inquirer and that like
打电话给《国家问询报》，
you know blow the story and I remember
你知道，这件事会被揭穿，我记得我
telling her like Mom I'll never work in
告诉她，
Hollywood if I do that you know like
如果我这样做，我永远不会在好莱坞工作，你知道，
it'll ruin me I was in shock for months
这会毁了我，我震惊了好几个月，
but then I was like okay so that's how
但后来 我当时想，好吧，
Hollywood
好莱坞
is now Spacey is back with a new film
现在就是这样了，斯派西带着一部新电影《
called American Beauty the reviews
美国丽人》回来了，评论都
they're over the top Steven Spielberg
夸张了，史蒂文·斯皮尔伯格
says one of the best films he's seen in
说这是他十年来看过的最好的电影之一，
10 years it's why he wants to make
这就是为什么他想让
movies welcome back thank you I remember
电影回归 谢谢你，我记得我
just being bowled over by that entire
被整部电影深深震撼了
film and at its heart was this sort of
，它的核心是
Everyman performance by Kevin spacy
Kevin Spacy Lester 的这种普通人表演，
Lester could you make me a little later
你能让我晚一点吗，
please because I'm not quite late enough
因为我还没有晚到，
a man who has the sort of sad sack
一个过着悲惨的
Suburban life and feels very beaten down
郊区生活，感觉很沮丧，
and over the course of the movie kind of
在电影的过程中
reclaims his own sense of self and his
重新找回了自己的自我意识和
own sense of
[Applause]
目标感，
purpose and the Oscar goes
奥斯卡奖
to Kevin spy and
颁给了凯文·斯皮和
Amer this is Kevin spy's second Academy
阿梅尔，这是凯文·斯皮第二次获得奥斯卡
Award he won an Oscar in 1995 for
奖，他在 1995 年凭借
supporting role in The Usual
《非常嫌疑犯》中的配角获得了奥斯卡奖，
Suspects it really made clear him
这真的 很明显，他
winning those Oscars so close together
赢得奥斯卡奖的时间如此接近，
just how meteoric arise Kevin spy had
凯文·斯皮克
had uh within the industry and I think
在行业内的表现有多么出色，我认为
with audiences in
观众们
[掌声]
general to my friends for pointing out
一般都会向我的朋友指出
my worst qualities
我最糟糕的品质，
I know you do it because you love
我知道你们这样做是因为你爱
me and that's why I love playing
我，这就是 我喜欢扮演 Lester 的原因
Lester
because we got to see all of his worst
在于，我们看到了他所有最糟糕的
qualities and we still grew to love
品质，但我们仍然爱上了
him it's Kevin spacy at Full Tilt power
他。这是 Full Tilt power mold 中的 Kevin spacy，
mold he brings up his faults and all the
他指出了自己的缺点，以及所有
people that have told him about his
告诉他
faults and that makes him a better
缺点的人，这让 让他成为一个更好的
person what is that
人，
about Travis Aaron Wade yeah I just
特拉维斯·亚伦·韦德是的，我
finished a film last year with John
去年刚和约翰·特拉沃尔塔合作拍完一部电影，
Travolta I spent some time in the Marine
我在海军陆战队待了一段时间，
Corps it felt very difficult to shake
感觉很难摆脱
getting back as a
回到
civilian my mom asked me a simple
平民身份，我妈妈问了我一个简单的
question what do you love and I said
问题，我该怎么办 你喜欢，我说
movies and was at the Golden Globe all
电影，在金球奖上，所有的
the glitz and the Glam my publist was
浮华和魅力，我的出版商
great we you know we have the champagne
很棒，我们手里拿着香槟
in hand and she's like all right so this
，她说好吧，所以这
is where you network and I look over and
是你的网络，我看了看，
it's Kevin spacy and he clearly was
是凯文·斯派西 他明显在
waving at me like he knew me the walk to
向我挥手，好像他认识我一样，他走向
Kevin was uh slow
凯文时动作很慢，
motion you just felt like you were
你感觉自己
getting pulled
被拉了
in first thing he says to me is who are
进去，他对我说的第一句话是你是谁，
you I said oh I'm Travis
我说哦，我是特拉维斯·
Wade and him and I just started laughing
韦德，然后他和我 立刻开始大笑，
immediately and and he goes you want to
然后他说你想
go outside and smoke a joint if it was
出去抽根大麻吗如果是
anybody else I would have been like N I
别人我会说N我
don't really smoke weed but now you're
不怎么抽大麻但现在你
standing opposite of this actor who at
站在这个演员对面，
this point now it was basically at the
现在 基本上处于
top of the game he was somewhat known as
行业的顶端，他有点被称为
like the mayor of Hollywood and I
市长 好莱坞，我
remember it was that moment where
记得那一刻，
there's a point in American Beauty with
美国丽人里有一段情节，
West Bentley and him where they're out
韦斯特·本特利和他在
back smoking but my dad interferes Less
外面抽烟，但我爸爸很少干涉
in my life when I pretend to be an
我的生活，当我假装是一个
upstanding young citizen with a
正直的年轻公民，有一份
respectable job
体面的工作时，
I'm choking we're belly laughing we got
我 我哽咽了，我们捧腹大笑，
our hands on each other's shoulder honey
我们的手放在对方的肩膀上，亲爱的，
this
Ricky this is
是瑞奇，这是
Ricky and literally I just felt like
瑞奇，我真的觉得
I've just got a a new best friend he
我刚刚有了一个新的最好的朋友，他
looks at me he's like there's a party
看着我，就像今晚有一个派对，
tonight it's at my hotel and you I would
是在我家 酒店和你我很
love to come as my guest I was really at
乐意作为我的客人来我
that point in my life looking for a
当时真的在寻找
mentor in the industry and I extremely
行业中的导师，我非常
trusted that I may have just found
相信我可能已经找到了
one he said you know come up around
一个他说你知道午夜左右来，
midnight and I go up to the the top
然后我上去 到了顶楼的
floor at the
penthouse the door
阁楼，门
opens and there he is it's it's
开了，他就在那里，是
Kevin he's in a bathrobe with a scotch
凯文，他穿着浴袍，拿着苏格兰威士忌和
with a
joint there is nobody there but us and I
大麻烟卷，除了我们，没有别人，我
go uh are you are are are you sure
说，呃，你确定
people are coming he goes yeah people
有人来了吗，他说 是的，人们
come in they come out I'll let them in
进来，他们出去 我会让他们进来，
and the party gets going as the night
派对随着夜幕
goes on and sit sit sit sit then he
降临而开始，然后他
started asking me questions about my
开始问我关于我的
career and what I've been working on and
职业生涯和我一直在做的事情的问题，
I told him the projects I booked and my
我告诉他我预定的项目和我的
experience and and my military and he
经验， 和我的军队，他
loved the fact that I was US Marine and
喜欢我是美国海军陆战队员，
I I just remember looking at him in his
我只记得看着他的
eyes there's a thing that just draws you
眼睛，有一种东西把你吸引
into Kevin just like that snake from a
到凯文身上，就像
jungle book and I just remember just
丛林书中的那条蛇，我只记得我
going like listen um I probably should
去听，嗯，我 可能应该
get going his face just went very
走了他的脸就变得很
straight he's like no
直他就像没有
stay and I said I'm not gay I've never
停留和我说我不是同性恋我从来没有
been with a man he goes even better he
和一个男人在一起他甚至更好他
goes oh darling there's nothing like
说哦亲爱的没有什么比
flipping there's nothing like flipping a
翻转没有什么比翻转
US Marine who looks like you come on
美国海军陆战队 看起来你来吧，
take your shirt off and I was like oh
脱掉你的衬衫，我当时想，哦
boy wasn't a fear that physically I was
男孩，我并不害怕我会
going to be raped it was more of a fear
被强奸，我更害怕的是，
that if I don't leave here in a good
如果我不能在好的光线下离开
light
this could cost me my
这里， 可能会让我失去我的
career he put his arm against the door
职业生涯，他用手臂抵住门
and he locked it and in that moment I
，然后把门锁上，那一刻我
knew I was in a Cell your soul
知道我处于一个 细胞你的灵魂
situation because this was something
情况，因为这是
that I didn't not want to
我不想
do but it was something that I was
做的事情，但这是我正在
considering doing because of something
考虑做的事情，因为
that I wanted and he's got me and he's
我想要的东西，他抓住了我，他
doing this on my shoulders he's like
在我的肩膀上这样做，他就像在
rubbing me but I'm holding him I'm
揉我，但我' 我抱着他，我
holding him strong and he goes but you
紧紧地抱着他，他走了，但你
want to I go no I don't and I grabbed
想走，我不走，我抓住
his face and I planted the biggest
他的脸，
[\h__\h] kiss right on his [\h__\h] lips
在他的嘴唇上深深地吻了他一下，
not tongue not making out of it ah and I
不是舌头，不是身体啊，我
pushed his head back and I went I'm
把他的头往后推，然后我说我
leaving and I got into the elevator and
要走了，我走进电梯，
I immediately pulled out my phone and I
我立刻拿出手机给
called my
mom think about like how many guys did
妈妈打电话，想想有多少男人这样做过
it went through and compromised what
，妥协过，
they really wanted to do or who they
他们真正想做什么，或者他们是谁 从
were
fundamentally and did it and got nothing
根本上说，我这么做了，却
out of it that's got to be even more
一无所获，这更像是在
like talk about just making
谈论让
you
你
go off the RoR
脱离 RoR
[音乐] 的
scale what had happened in that
量表，在那个浴室里发生的事情
bathroom felt like was leverage for me
对我来说就像是一种筹码，
like hey I didn't go to the inquire I'm
就像嘿，我没有去 我
going to keep your secret and you're
会保守你的秘密，你
going to help me make my career and he'd
会帮助我成就我的事业， 他
only gotten more
只是变得更加
famous he won the Oscar for American
出名，他获得了美国丽人的奥斯卡奖
Beauty and I sent a fact congratulating
，我给他发了一封祝贺信，
him with my cell phone number on it and
上面有我的手机号码，就
when that second chapter
在那时
occurred he invited me to the Soho Grand
发生了第二章，他邀请我去他住的苏豪大酒店，
where he was staying
he spent like an hour grilling me about
他 花了一个小时的时间盘问我
whether I had been followed by this
是否被一辆
white van had been trying to get
白色货车跟踪，是否试图拍下
pictures of him with younger guys and he
他和年轻人的合影，他
was very very paranoid that I was
非常非常怀疑我是
working for the Press at a certain point
为媒体工作的，在某个时候，
he kind of realized that I was telling
他意识到我 说的是
the truth and I wasn't trying to like
实话，我并不是
con him and that's when he put my hand
想骗他，就在那时，他把我的手放在
on his crotch and he clearly wanted me
他的裤裆上，明显是想让我帮
to jerk him
off I was frozen in shock so that
手淫，我当时吓得呆住了，所以
stopped quickly and he jerked himself
很快就停了下来，他开始手淫
off and I got up and washed my hands and
，我得到了 起床洗了手，
bolted out that hotel
冲出了酒店
room I left New York soon after that
房间，不久之后我就离开了纽约，
then moved out to Los
然后搬到了
Angeles I was broke had spent the summer
洛杉矶，我身无分文，花了一个夏天
writing a script thought would be
写了一个剧本，觉得这个剧本
perfect for him to produce and so I
非常适合他制作，所以我
reached out to him I had come to terms
联系了他， 已经接受了“
with okay I'm willing to do something
好吧，我愿意做一些
uncomfortable to get something out of
不舒服的事情来得到一些东西”这一
it that began the sort of the booty
事实，这开始了
calls you know the late night hey what
打电话，你知道，深夜，嘿，
are you doing which I kept sort of
你在做什么，我一直在
deflecting deflecting deflecting and
转移话题，
finally I took the
最后我接了
call yeah that's right where he picked
电话，是的，就在他
me up pulled up his
接我的地方，开着他的
Porsche he was very stressed I would say
保时捷，他非常紧张，我会说，就像
like anxious
焦虑一样，
you know within minutes he had whipped
你知道 几分钟后，他
out his
掏出了他的
dick and I was like well I guess I'm
阴茎，我心想，好吧，我想我
going to try to give him head and see if
要试着给他口交，看看
that works there was Zero attraction or
这是否有效。他
interest in me being sexual I mean it
对我的性行为毫无兴趣，我的意思是，我
felt like I was something that I had to
感觉自己就像是我拥有的东西
do to get to where I wanted to go I
到达我想要去的地方，我
think that lasted about 5 to 10 seconds
想那大概持续了 5 到 10 秒，
I kind of just
我只是有点
gag instead of him just
作呕，而不是他
stopping he you know masturbated next to
停下来，你知道，
me in the car as he was
他在开车的时候在我旁边自慰
driving and then as soon as he climaxed
，然后他一达到高潮
he like became this whole other person
他就像变成了另一个人，
he was like this fullon
他就像一个十足的
Entertainer
娱乐
Storyteller he wanted to keep driving
讲故事的人，他想继续开车
around and like talked to me for 3 hours
兜风，和我聊了三个小时，
with like [\h__\h] stained
pants but that whole night he never once
裤子上沾满了精液，但那一整晚他从来没有
asked me anything about myself he never
问过我任何关于我自己的事情，他从来没有
asked me about my script every time I
问过我 每次我试图提起我的剧本时，
would try to bring it up he didn't care
他都没有 关心
and that's when it really hit me like
，那时我才真正意识到，
there was no quid pro quote he was never
他从来没有
offering me anything it was almost like
给我任何东西，这几乎就像
I got to be in The Graces of his company
我得到了他公司的恩典
and that's your gift for letting me come
，这是你的礼物，让我在
all over myself next to
[掌声] 旁边全身心投入 ]
you I don't know if it was a few days
我不知道是不是几天
later or whatever when he called and I
后，他打电话给我，我
was like you know what Kevin I'm sorry
说，凯文，我很抱歉，
but like I like women I'm not gay and he
但我喜欢女人，我不是同性恋，他
lost his [\h__\h] and screaming on the phone
失去了理智，尖叫着 打电话，
like I just needed a friend and
就像我只是需要一个朋友，
clearly very upset that I was
显然我很沮丧，因为我
insinuating that he was gay it's one
暗示他是同性恋，
thing to be like don't tell anybody it's
不要告诉任何人是一回事，
another thing to be like I'm not gay you
我不是同性恋又是另一回事，你
know what I
知道我的
mean
意思，
um and so I guess that made me just feel
嗯，所以我 我想这让我
bad for him you know it's like wow man
为他感到难过，你知道这就像哇哦，
you really you don't know yourself and
你真的不了解自己，
you can't be yourself and that
你不能做你自己，这
sucks I didn't think I'd ever see him
很糟糕，我以为我再也见不到他了，
again but uh where I was at the whiskey
但是呃，我当时在哪里 在
bar at the sunset Marquee lo and behold
日落大帐篷的威士忌酒吧里，瞧瞧
who shows up and there's Kevin uh and he
谁出现了， 那是凯文，他
comes over and you know we all say hi so
过来了，你知道我们都打招呼，所以
you want to talk to me so as we're down
你想跟我说话，所以当我们走到
at the end of the bar there's the two
酒吧尽头时，有两个
gay guys not super Flame but you can
同性恋者，不是超级火焰，但你可以
tell they were
看出他们是
gay and Kevin notices them and he starts
同性恋，凯文 注意到他们，他开始
doing these voices for them as if
为他们配音，好像
they're these over-the-top drag queens
他们是这些夸张的变装皇后，
like kind of in a creepy way like really
有点令人毛骨悚然，真的很
shitty making fun of them Impressions
差劲，取笑他们印象
became a big way for me to have entree
成为我参加晚餐的重要方式，
into dinners and parties do something
派对上有一些
that was entertaining but didn't ask me
有趣的事情，但没有要求我
to reveal anything me I was able to sort
透露任何事情，我可以
of be the life of the party and still
成为派对的活跃分子，同时
hide they were just regular guys having
隐藏他们只是普通人
a
drink it was shocking I'm like what the
喝酒，这令人震惊，我就像在问这到底
hell is going on here what what's he
是怎么回事 他在
doing it was kind of my first
做什么？这是我第一次
indication that maybe he was
意识到，也许他
uncomfortable in his own skin some sort
对自己的身体感到不舒服，
of inner self-hatred
内心有一种自我憎恨，
I think it it speaks volumes about how
我认为这说明了
he feels about his own
他对自己的
sexuality it's it's a part of him that
性取向的看法，这是他的一部分
he doesn't
他不
like success is both a fantastic thing
喜欢成功，这既是一件奇妙的事，
and a little dangerous I think and so I
也有点危险。 我
think that one has to always try to keep
认为，人们必须始终努力避免
success a little bit at Bay another
成功，而
thing he's tried to keep at Bay are
他试图避免的另一件事是
questions about his
关于他的
sexuality but questions about his
性取向的问题，但关于他的
sexuality would not go away so he
性取向的问题不会消失，所以他
decided he had to respond choosing the
决定必须选择
overtly heterosexual magazine Playboy to
公开的异性恋杂志《花花公子》
publicly deny that he is
公开否认他是
gay so do you have a girlfriend I
同性恋，所以你有女朋友吗？
I uh I I've been in a relationship for a
我呃我交往了一段
while yeah with whom um her name is
时间，是的，她的名字叫
Diane I would never judge Kevin spacy in
黛安，我永远不会评判凯文·斯派西
terms of
choosing not to be a publicly out gay
选择不 公开出柜的同性恋
actor
演员
well being in the closet for me I can
对我来说是幸福的，我
only really speak for me it's a very
只能代表我自己说，这是一个非常
lonely place it's a very scary place it
孤独的地方，这是一个非常可怕的地方，这是
can be a very self-loathing
一个非常自我厌恶的
place it is actively damaging to your
地方，它正在积极地损害你
ability to have normal healthy
正常健康的能力
relationships constantly being aware of
关系中，要时刻注意
your own behavior and checking it and
自己的行为，检查和
censoring it and making sure that at no
审查它，确保在任何
point are you slipping or revealing who
时候你都不会失控或暴露
you are or how you're behaving it also
你是谁或你的行为
does not in any way nor should it excuse
方式，这绝不是
abusive Behavior but it can illuminate
虐待行为的借口，但它 可以启发
our understanding for what's driving
我们理解推动
it I don't believe that because you're
它的原因，我不相信 因为你
unhappy with who you are that you can't
对自己不满意，所以你不能
come out um that you're ashamed of it
出柜，嗯，你为此感到羞耻，
whatever that that in any way justifies
无论如何，这都证明了
the kind of aggression that he was
他所表现出来的那种侵略性是合理的，很
showing clearly it was homosexual in
明显，这是同性恋的
nature
本质，
but so uncalled for unnatural
但没有必要 不自然的，
inhuman uh no that shows somebody who's
不人道的，呃，不，这表明有人在
screaming for
help for at least some of the people who
为至少一些
are coming forward they didn't feel like
站出来的人呼救，他们觉得
they have could make an allegation
自己没有能力
against Kevin spacy because to do so
对凯文·斯派西提出指控，因为这样做
would be tanam out to outing him and
就等于是把他赶出去，而且
that gets to the perous nature of the
谈到柜子的危险性，
closet even just the first reaction when
即使只是当
I told people that he was gay you'd be
我告诉别人他是同性恋时的第一反应，你也会
surprised how many people would tell me
惊讶地发现有多少人会当面告诉我，
to my face that no he he isn't gay that
不，他不是同性恋，
you misunderstood or you
你误会了，或者你
misinterpreted so I just thought you
误解了 我只是想，你
know what I'm just going to keep this to
知道我会把这件事
myself but dawn of all people could tell
藏在心里，但所有人都能看出
that something wasn't necessarily
有些事情不太
right so I was on the show doing
对劲，所以我在节目中做
background I was part of Claire's Secret
背景工作，我是克莱尔特勤局团队的一员，
Service team I did like five seasons on
我做了五个 节目中的季节，
the show and as each season progressed
以及每一季 随着事情的发展，
things got
情况变得越来越
tenser especially when you see a hand in
紧张，尤其是当你看到一只手放在
a position that should not be there hand
不该放的位置，手
on the back lower back or a hand on leg
放在后背或腿上，
women can tell when there's something
女人能看出来有什么
off something going on that's not right
不对劲，有什么不对劲的地方，
but what really concerned me was when
但真正让我担心的是当
Daniel Comes running over to us and he
丹尼尔 他跑过来对我们
says Don you got to hide me what's going
说，唐，你得把我藏起来，发生了什么事，
on Kevin's after me
凯文在追我，
what I remember telling him how I love
我记得我告诉过他我有多喜欢
boxing and I was talking myself up like
拳击，我夸耀自己，
I'm this tough guy I'm this great boxer
我是个硬汉，我是个伟大的拳击手，我
this great fighter and he's not the
战士，他
least bit scared of
一点也不怕
me I felt that he actually had the power
我，我觉得他实际上有能力
to break me down because of his role in
击垮我，因为他在电影中扮演的角色
the film and his role as the executive
以及他作为
producer of House of
House of carts 的执行制片人的角色让
carts that terrified
me where is Daniel hey D Daniel oh my
我感到害怕，丹尼尔在哪里，嘿 D 丹尼尔哦 天哪，
god oh look
at that night when you came running over
看看那个晚上，你跑到我们身边的时候，
to us
MH it was like something majorly bad had
MH，就好像一定有什么非常糟糕的事情
to happen for you to do that MH so I
发生了，你才会这么做，MH，所以我
called the union and I said you need to
打电话给工会，我说你需要和
talk to spacy because he's a sexual
spacy谈谈，因为他是一个性
harassment suit didn't happen I honestly
骚扰诉讼 没有发生，老实说，
I did not think that it would it would
我没想到 它会
get that bad or that even had the
变得那么糟糕，甚至有
potential to get that
可能变得那么
bad until uh like I mean he he groped me
糟糕，直到呃，我的意思是，他摸了我，呃，
and uh yeah are you serious yeah like
是的，你是认真的吗，是的，就像
stand up like it was he gred you in the
站起来一样，就像他打了你的
butt no he gred you in the front
屁股，不，他打了你 前面
yeah I didn't know Spacey gred him he's
是的，我不知道斯派西会给他颁发奖章，他还
young he's just new in a business it's
年轻，他只是刚进入这个行业，这很
sad
可悲，
and it should not have
这不应该
happened
发生，
and it pisses me
off when you are playing a leading role
当你扮演主角时，这让我很生气，
it is also a leadership role I always
这也是一个领导角色，我一直
believe that that you have to come onto
相信这一点 你必须来到
a set and be a part of creating an
片场，参与创造一个让
environment where people want to do
人们想尽
their best work and when I've seen
全力工作的环境，当我看到
examples of people
有人
who you know mistreat others on a set or
在片场虐待他人，或者
um I I I call them out on it is that one
我会大声斥责他们的时候，
of your philosophies in life to be one
你的人生哲学之一就是做一个
of the good guys
好人，
yeah I'm Khloe Mass I'm an entertainment
是的，我是科勒·马斯，我是一名娱乐
journalist we were in the throws of the
记者，我们正处于“
me tooo movement the allegations against
我也是”运动的浪潮之中，针对
Harvey Weinstein had just been
哈维·韦恩斯坦的指控刚刚
published and you were hearing about
公布，你听说了这些
allegations against other famous um
指控 与其他著名的
actors
I had just come back from maternity
我刚
leave and I had been back at work maybe
休完产假回来，回来工作大概
a week I had all these hormones raging
一个星期，我的荷尔蒙分泌旺盛
and I just sort of channeled it into
，我把它投入到
this Kevin spacy investigation I started
凯文·斯派西的调查中，我开始给尽可能
making phone calls to as many people as
多的人打电话
I could find who had either worked on
我可以找到曾经参与《
House of Cards or who were working on
纸牌屋》制作的人，或者正在参与《
House of Cards I had some people tell me
纸牌屋》制作的人。有人告诉我，
that you know Kevin spy had touched them
凯文·斯皮德曾不恰当地触摸过他们，
inappropriately rubbing their
揉着他们的
shoulders pat on the butt a lingering
肩膀，拍着他们的屁股，紧紧地
hug together he would shake their hand
拥抱在一起，握着他们的手
and then on point of contact he would
然后，在接触点，他会
then grab their hand down to his crotch
抓住他们的手，一直到他的裤裆，
but people described as a toxic work
但人们形容这是一个有毒的工作
environment that made them not want to
环境，让他们不想和
work around Kevin spacy or fearful to be
Kevin Spacy 一起工作，或者害怕和
around him worried that they might get
他在一起，担心他们可能会被
prayed upon next I spoke to one young
祈祷。 一个
man who told me
年轻人告诉我，
that while he's in the car with Kevin
当他和凯文一起坐车时，
spy Kevin put his hand down his
凯文把手伸进了
pants this is his dream job that's now
裤子里，这是他梦寐以求的工作，但现在却
turned into a total
变成了一场
nightmare in the end after speaking to
噩梦，在与
about 200 people I got eight to agree to
大约 200 人交谈后，我得到了 8 人的同意
tell me their stories stories that would
告诉我他们的故事
caused the house of card show to
导致纸牌屋节目
collapse
崩塌，
next thing you know there are these
接下来你知道，这些
allegations coming from across the pond
指控来自大洋
overseas in the UK Hollywood star Kevin
彼岸的英国好莱坞明星凯文·
spacy taking up his new role at one of
斯派西在伦敦最著名的剧院之一担任新角色，
London's most famous
theaters he pulled me in very close with
他用右手把我拉得很近
his right hand and he put his left hand
他把左手
down by my my bum it's the best job I've
放在我的屁股旁边，这是我做过的最好的工作，
ever had cuz I get to bring people
因为我可以把人们聚集
together and and be a part of creating a
在一起，成为创建一个家庭的一部分，
family I just felt so small
我只是觉得自己很渺小，
I started to get like scared of coming
我开始害怕来
to work is it going to happen again
去上班，今天还会再发生吗？
today Kevin spy receives an honory
凯文·斯皮
Knighthood for services to British
因对英国剧院的服务而获得荣誉爵士称号，
theater if this is not criminal Behavior
如果这不是犯罪行为，
it is nonetheless bad behavior and it
那仍然是不良行为，
that's why it needs to be called out and
这就是为什么需要呼吁并
it needs to be
discussed the message to Kevin has to be
讨论这一信息 凯文必须
it's over you know it's over for you
结束，你知道对你来说一切都结束了